Friday, January 14, 2011

In the Beginning, God Made M.A.Q

I get the question, "WOW! How did you get all of that hair?" My mental response would be "Huh?", then "God", and so my outward expression would usually be a smile or chuckle. How am I suppose to answer that question? LOL. Another popular question that I get is "How do you do ANYTHING at all to your hair?" Now, that's a question I am able to answer.

Well, for those who have never met me, I have really big hair; hence the name MizzAfroQueen (aka M.A.Q pronounced, you got it, 'mack'). It's natural, highlighted, and I usually wear it in a quick puff to the back. My natural hair journey has been one long process of trial and error.

In the beginning, almost 7 years ago, I made the decision to go natural. I was due for a relaxer one day, and decided "Hey, I'm done!" I couldn't and didn't want to sit in the chair, let my then hairstylist gently go through my hair with her comb to gently comb it, making sure not to pull too hard because the relaxer would 'burn' - when that's what it did anyways regardless if I had scratched or not. I just didn't want to go through that burn, the long wash process to make sure the "pink" is all out, and heat on top of all that. 

So, I called my stylist to cancel my appointment. Shortly after, I stood at my mirror staring at my mangled mess that stood out from my head and asked myself, "Now what?" I didn't have a clue as to what it was that I needed to do. Over the next few weeks I did my research. I asked questions (many of the same questions I get today, excluding the "how did you get that hair" question) to other naturals, and I did a lot of online research. 

Eventually, it was coming up on 4 months of no relaxer.  At this point, my relaxed hair became very brittle and dry. It didn't look good. However, my roots...oh my roots were like me gliding my fingertips over the ripples of the Black Sea. They were soft and felt healthier than my limp relaxed parts. I definitely knew at this point that I was not going to get a relaxer, and told my friend that I was cutting my hair all off. And I did. I went to Walmart to have my hair cut all the way down to the natural. WHY did I do that?? 

I walked in the salon area of Walmart, asked a beautician if she could cut a very small piece of my hair just so I could see how long my natural hair was. At this point I'm nervous and was going back and forth in my mind if I should cut or relax...relax or cut. She told me to sit in the chair, she took my hair tie out, quickly combed through, grabbed a very large section of the middle part of my head and quickly ran the scissors across it before I was able to breathe from holding my breath when the blade first touched my strands. Then she took my natural hair and fanned it out, and said, "It's this long." I really wanted to turn around and punch her in the nose, but I didn't want to go to jail that day. I just asked if she could cut it all off. I was very disgusted, but at this point I needed to make the decision, because at month 3 1/2 I was undecided, and my initial plan was to be completely natural anyways.

When I got out of the chair I wanted to cry. I looked like Florida Evans from Good Times. I HATED my new look. I ran through the store trying to find hair products I kept in my mental notebook of what hair products did well on natural hair. I grabbed some clear gel, shampoo and conditioner (I can't remember the names of the products I used at that time), and I bought a few hair accessories. Which did me no good because I thought I looked crazy with them. 

After getting home, all alone with my dog, I tried to fall in love with my "Florida Evans". I tried hard...but the more I stared in the mirror at it, the more I wanted to cry. I just didn't know what to do at that point. It wasn't very short, but it was short enough. I was use to having long hair, I always had it, so short hair was something new for me, especially NATURAL short hair. I got online and did some more web searches on natural hair styles. 

There was one site that popped up, that I give all of my beginning of natural hair care and style credit to - OMG! The women on there were SO very supportive toward me. They gave me suggestions, and styles to do for my short hair. They encouraged and helped me to start loving my natural me! Many black women as girls, grow up not knowing how to take care of hair in its natural state, so we have to learn how to do that if later in life we become natural.

After consulting with these awesome ladies on, day by day, and little by little, I began to love my little "F.E." hehehe. I washed and conditioned it a lot, combed it, and cared for it...I loved it. And now I love it even more!

3 years natural
almost 7 years - side view

So, if you are tussling and swaying back and forth with the question: to do, or not to do?, then I hope that I was able to help you some. I will post more blogs on how to care for your hair, and what to use and what not to use to help promote growth! 

Until next time Blogger...

My suggested link(s) to follow:


  1. What an awesome blog, and a great way to encourage others! This encouraged me to stay natural. Thanks so much for the support. :)

  2. You're welcome, girl! Anytime you need advice on hair care let me know ;)

  3. You and Shan are really making me miss my loose natural hair even more...